I have no idea where to start! I feel like I've lost motivation for everything that I wanted to do. I hope my mind didn't change since I had to discontinue going to therapy but I'm pretty sure it did :/. School is a drag and I just started 3 weeks ago. Everyday it feels like i'm pulling teeth with everything that I do. I'm having second thoughts about school (maybe it's not for me) or find another major. Nothing is holding me back from expressing myself or goals.....what's going on?
School is back in session now and I am already exhausted. I really think I spoiled myself this summer by moving at my own pace with everything. My classes are OK but not interesting at all. The professors seem like they care about their students' grades which is one thing I was concerned about. Yes, I am having doubts about what I am getting myself into because I don't know wear I stand academically . At the end of the day I just want to work out, work, write, read and repeat.
I am all for education to a certain extent. As you look at it now, many young individuals can't afford college and convince themselves that it is not that important. Well, I believe that degrees (BA, BS, MS etc.) helps people get their foot in the door but not the golden key to success. Your talents, experiences and skills is your ticket out this MotherF%cker.
Google " Dropout Millionaires" and be inspired! - Simply Jade
lol I hate talking about my love life as secretive as I am.
First Kiss: I was in 6th grade when I started kissing. I still see this guy once in a blue moon. We act like we don't know each other and I'm totally fine with that. :)
First Love: I was in love with this one guy but I didn't do my part to keep him around. I was too busy run around trying to be perfect and making excuses etc. When I was blaming him for quitting on me, I was really blaming myself for being a jerk and dragging my feet. Now that we are older, I know things wouldn't be the same if we crossed paths today. It's too late to rekindle and it took me months to accept that. At this point, I just leave our friendship the way that it is.....
I'm so open to anything right now! I wouldn't be surprise if I graduate with BA in English and go back to school to start another career in something else. I love change....wait. Let me just say I don't MIND evolving. If anything, I want to be COMPLETELY satisfied with myself in the future mentally and physically.
As long as I am happy, everything else will fall in line - Simply Jade
Day 7 - "The moment you felt the most satisfied with your life"
It was the time I went to Italy and I was so excited about being in another country! I didn't know anyone that went with me (like close friends and family). I basically just enjoyed the scenery and learned new things while I was there.
Day 5 - "A time you thought about ending your own life"
Wow, this is interesting. It's been plenty of occasions where I didn't want to leave the house and hated everything about my life. Fortunately, I never thought about taking my own life because I wouldn't want to bring my family that much of pain. I just know that I can overcome anxiety and depression.
You can believe in whatever you want. I love God and believe in Him because that's what I was taught to do. Do I go to church and study the Bible? No..... Do I believe in a higher power? Of course.....
Day 1 - "Current relationship, if single discuss how life is"
I am single....very single. Its been this way forever. Of course I'm looking but it's such a hassle. The only good part about being single is that you are not obligated to someone and blah blah. Only a night....when it finally hits you that you want someone to love on and be under ( I think about it every night). I'm getting too old for crushes and staying in the "Friend Zone" for a long period of time. I would love to be in a relationship lol.
Only at night....I am able to listen to myself. I use this time to recognize where my heart is. Is it full of love or hate? I lay in my bed with no sound or lights on. I'm not afraid to say this is my favorite part of the day. Silence and darkness is what I called peace.
Only at night....I remember what matters the most to me and the places I want to be. Lastly,the significant conversations that I had that day.
Many things come and go as time progresses. Nothing will feel or look the same forever. Far as solving issues, as days go by you will start to think about the problem less each day but it's like throwing dirt over a casket. So over a period of time, if you find yourself still stressing over something then it's time to address the issue verbally.
A wise man once said "Dont shit last and you know that" - Simply Jade
Sorry you guys! I went on vacation (ATL) to catch a break from my hometown. It took a lot for me to give up my shifts at work and allow myself BREATHE. Yes, I am a workaholic and I love every part about it. Is it something I want to fix? No, not at this moment (I'm just saying).
Anyway, my Atlanta trip was very interesting even though I went with my family, I had some "me" time going on as well. Being there I really felt like I was missing so much. It wasn't about the exposure of getting out of hometown because I've been to other countries and all but I couldn't believe that I forgot that it's other places that I can come to and meet new people (like a man). The people there are so talented and friendly! I was shocked! Yes, it's a fast city but I can definitely get used to it....it's worth the hassle.
If you do not know about his case, I am concerned about you. To keep this short, I will like to say that this case is long overdue! To be honest...I had a feeling that he was going to get away with killing someone. Besides the racial issue that many people like to bring up, this young man( Trayvon Martin) was not causing harm to anyone and lost his life. Since no one is found guilty of all counts clearly shows that no one is safe in America (especially not in Florida).
Im from "Gunshine" State...Literally - Simply Jade
I never thought that the mind was so powerful. I spend many hours each day just thinking about all kinds of things. Many of them are irrelevant and feeds into my anxiety which causes it to be worse. All the "What if?" thoughts can make you feel worthless and out of control. I'm not ashamed to admit how my life went downhill just by the way I used my mind. After awhile, I started to wake up with an idea that I was going to have bad day and I didn't get dressed yet ( but I swear I'm not crazy lol). Don't get caught up in how you might feel about a positive situation, you might talk yourself out of it. If you concentrate on negativity , it's exactly what you are going to bring into your life. No, it's not an easy habit to kick but it will keep you from reaching goals and opportunities heading your way.
Thrill - "Cause (someone) to have a sudden feeling of excitement and pleasure"
*This post was set to show yesterday, I don't know happen:(*
Happy 4th of July! Since it's raining a lot on the East Coast, I hope everyone can enjoy this wonderful Thursday whether it's with family or eating a good ole meal straight from the grill. Just enjoy and celebrate being an AMERICAN today!
Hey you guys! This is my first post for " Music Monday". I have to find a way to post things in the morning since I go to work at noon but wake up too late to sit and think about what to post. Anyway, I think people should check this singer out. She has an unique voice and songs that kill stress instantly. ENJOY!
Well... I usually don't watch TV but tonight BET will be presenting BET Awards 2013 LIVE! Of course I am excited to see my favorite celebrities perform etc. I am using my computer to tweet and my phone to send personal messages to those who can't control their mouths on my timeline (just joking). Geesh, can't wait!
By the way, Paula Deen is still having the worst week ever! Her products are flying off the shelves and it's not because of great sales but her racial comment caused her to lose so many endorsements. From my perspective, she has enough sense to know what not to say in public. Some things are just...common sense. Obviously, racial slurs will always remain a problem no matter who you are when you're in the public eye. When are they going to learn?
I really think the hardest part about life is change. We learn at a early age that consistency and discipline is the key to success but they never told us what to do when the ambition is gone. They never told us about the "Oh my God, I hate change" moment we may have. Since nothing last forever...why work so hard for things and try to be close to perfect? Do you still want to change now? Currently, I am changing so much to the point that I do things that reminds me of my bad habits. Geesh...that's awful on my behalf but some things are hard to let go of. Focusing on getting better but don't want to do better. Focusing on good living but not ready to live a healthier lifestyle.But what you're REALLY trying to say is "I'm ready for change but who am I changing for? ".
I am just having one of those days where I can't get it together. I lied...I have it together but I am finally getting comfortable in my own skin. Yes, I was the uptight individual that had her guard up 24/7 but at this point I just don't give damn. Back then, nobody really wasn't checking on me when I was playing the "Good Girl" role and I used to be mad as hell about that. Also, I used to hate when people say "I'm just going to do me" or " This is who I am" but I am all for it now! You really have to let go of everything you feel uncertain about and start over. Start over from the last time you felt good about yourself or start from scratch. Think beyond the idea of trying to live life the RIGHT way and just do it YOUR way.
Your life is really simple, all you have to do is just live it - Jade
I know for a fact that I have trust issues. I'm not trying make it anyone's fault but we live in a world where people are selling dreams and making millions off of lies .I don't normally give advice but whatever you do...DON'T HOLD ANYONE ACCOUNTABLE for your mistakes, emotions and types of BS you might get from people. Look at both ends of the stick and be ready to receive negative and positive outputs.
I can imagine myself in a locally owned coffee shop writing in my journal about a couple that I see. I am describing their body language and appearance as they sit there right in front me. I am so eager to hear their conversation that I wish I was the coffee that sits on their table. If I could draw, I would sketch a picture of myself being their waiter. Maybe it's their first time meeting.....
"Lost Files" is the name of my stories/ diary entries that are unfinished. Purposely, I will not finish them because they are more of like an "idea" that came to mind but very sentimental to me. Some ideas are just.... unforgettable.
JESSICA, JESSIE AND JADE
Jessica is a little shy girl that people can not see because she lives in my heart. Jessie is my alter ego that everyone is trying to figure out but can't get a hold of. Jade represents a woman that is precious as a rock but ...
Happy Thursday! I just wanted to share one of my favorite "Black Gossip" websites. Miss Jia 's website is where you can get the latest and most relevant gossip about your favorite celebrity. Check it out!
Does it hurt so bad it that feels good to get half if it's possible?
Are you waiting for the next boat to come?
But are you ready for it?
Do you think she/he is on that boat?
What happen if they are not?
Are you scared to take the trip without them?
What about the destination to happiness?
Wasn't that the whole point of going?
What about your friends?
Do they care about you and your well being?
Some weeks ago, I answered these questions. Fortunately, I came up with my own questions because I wanted to know the REAL reason of why I was feeling a certain way and what brings me to that state. My answers? Let's just say that they were RAW AND REAL. I did not like most of it but it was an eye opener.
It's not that complicated.... just keep it simple - Jade
I am returning to my blog with a new mind, attitude and desire. I have been holding back many things because of fear. Fear is just....an emotion but not a good one to have and also a setback. Lets be clear that we all have gone through some phases where we seem to be afraid of everything that comes our way. As of today, I am making an official return to my blog. On my blog, you should be able to feel some of connection rather it's about work, relationships, family or health. Of course, I don't know all the answers but through experiences and guidance from the best therapist in my area, I am able to share and learn anything that I want.
"I done lost my crown a long long long time agoI shouldn’t let it goI’m searching, tryna find my my my way backWay back to the throneAnd I know if I could climb through, can’t break these wallsThen maybe I’ll get homeI’m taking back what’s mine mine, no more will IBe pushed to the floor" Dawn Richard - Return of a Queen